Avoiding Mary Sue and the Harry Potter Universe
by alienoctopus
Summary: I wrote this to help guide away from Mary Sue-dom before starting a story. Includes examples, a brief argument for Mary Sues, and writing tips at the end. Will take me a couple days to finish, so follow if you're interested.
1. Introduction, What is a Mary Sue?

I recently found myself down the fanfiction rabbit hole—that is, somehow, I ended up reading things I didn't even look for. But that's ok, because I was reading some fascinating essays on how not to write Mary Sues, specifically in the Harry Potter universe. Some were nice guides or lists, some were essays, and there was the occasional AU story in which canon characters explained what Mary Sues do to their universe. I found most of these helpful and interesting—and some of them were really smart!—and decided I would write on the problem, as well. Despite the fact that I found countless how-tos on the subject, I figure the more written, the more accessible they are, which means more writers might read them and heed the advice.

Personally, I don't really mind Mary Sues if the story is handled decently. I've read handfuls of fanfics in which I would deem the original character (OC) a Mary Sue, and all of the other characters out of character (OOC) yet I still enjoyed the story. Good story telling is not all character, but plot and good writing. I write Mary Sues—Ivy Blythe from my story A Shine to It is easily classified as a Mary Sue. But I digress. I will address the merits and detriments of Mary Sues at the end. Most of this is about how to avoid writing a Mary Sue.

So, let's get on with talking about Mary Sues, or their male counterpart, Gary Stus. For the sake of simplicity, however, I will continue writing using only the term Mary Sue, as the female rather than male, because 1. I see a lot more Mary Sues than Gary Stus, 2. It's a lot of extra words. 3. Most of what I will address can be applied to the other gender, so if you're looking to avoid a Gary Stu, this can be applicable to you.

 **WHAT IS A MARY SUE**

Mary Sues have several similar definitions, but the most simple, comprehensive one I found was on the TVTropes website (a website I highly recommend for writers and readers to explore in order to understand fanfiction cliché). Here is what they wrote:

"The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye color, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing.

She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character _doesn't_ love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal. She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favorite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc. Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series. (See Common Mary Sue Traits for more detail on any of these clichés.)

In other words, the term "Mary Sue" is generally slapped on a character who is important in the story, possesses unusual physical traits, and has an irrelevantly over-skilled or over-idealized nature."

So, if TVTropes explained it so well, why am I giving it a shot? Well, I'm focusing solely on Harry Potter Universe fanfiction. I will be going through common traits of a Mary Sue, offering examples and ways to avoid Mary Sues, and end with an argument for Mary Sues and some tips for good writing in this particular type of fanfiction.


	2. Background and Basics

**BACKGROUNDS AND BASICS**

1\. Name, Appearance, and Personality

Mary Sue is simply _too bloody perfect_. Mary Sue often has a long name with no real meaning and strange characters and spellings. Sometimes, Mary Sue will share a similar name with the author, if not the same name, and sometimes they'll share a similar name to a canon character. Often, there's an unexplainable nickname for the Mary Sue because the writer will have grown tired after writing six first, four middle, and three last names.

Mary Sue is friends and enemies with the right people, and these kinds of relationships come far too easy for her. She is inherently beautiful, and any physical flaw she does have either does not distract from her unnatural beauty or makes her even more beautiful. Her hair is always perfect (Ex. Hermione's hair is distractingly _bushy—_ not an attractive descriptive, if you ask me— whereas Mary Sue's hair is beautifully curly/wavy/long/brightly colored, etc.). Mary Sues often have something unusual about their eyes, and are almost always too skinny and perfectly curvy at all times.

She has all of the best personality traits, and it's often easy to know everything about her just by looking at her clothes. An easy way to detect that you're writing a Mary Sue is when you find yourself writing more about her appearance than you do writing actual story.

Another quick way to find Mary Sue is the point of view. First person (the use of 'I') often leads to Mary Sueism. Point of view is NOT the deciding factor of Mary Sue. I have read great fanfictions in the first person, and I have read bad Mary Sues in third person. I only wish to point out that first person point of view can be an indicator.

I actually wish this was it, but there are a lot of different types of and tropes to Mary Sues. This is only the beginning.

2\. The One Where Everybody Was Terrible and/or Dead

This is one I often am guilty of—Mary Sue's parents are usually awful or dead. She misses her mom, who died tragically fighting Voldemort/because she killed herself/car crash, and her dad works too much/physically, verbally, or sexually abuses her/gave her away to Death Eaters/ignores her.

Listen, it's entirely possible that Death Eaters killed an original character's parents. This can actually work in the timeline of Harry Potter. It's even allowed that her parent's can be terrible people. But: a. these events will affect her character. No one has a dead mother and isn't deeply bothered by it. No one had an abusive guardian and acts like a normal human being, and b. If Death Eaters killed her parents, it didn't happen the week before Hogwarts started. These things CAN happen, but it has to genuinely affect the character, lest she become a Mary Sue.

3\. Who's the Father?

Perhaps the best suggestion I can give in regards to creating a family history for an OC is: don't make her Sirius Black's daughter. This goes for all major characters. Remus Lupin, Severus Snape, and Voldemort do not have children. You find this Mary Sue-Black (Mary Sue-Lupin, etc.) mostly in fanfictions based on the Harry Potter movie series rather than book because for whatever reason, they aged these characters. Sirius Black was 21 when he was convicted. He really didn't get much of a chance to have a secret baby. It is strongly implied (I also believe confirmed, but I am not wholly sure) that Tonks was the first woman Lupin was ever with. Snape only ever loved Lily Evans. VOLDEMORT IS LITERALLY INCAPABLE OF LOVE. HE DOES NOT FEEL PHYSICAL ATTRACTION. HE WOULD NOT HAVE A CHILD.

4\. Secret Siblings

Harry Potter does not have a twin sister. There is not a secret Weasley, and Draco Malfoy doesn't have a Gryffindor cousin (well, not technically, most purebloods end up related). Hermione doesn't have an older sister who is cooler and better than Hermione in every way. These are all quick ingredients to a Mary Sue.

The most wonderful thing about Harry Potter is that we do have access to a family tree. However, that tree isn't always as informative as one would like. It is entirely possible that Draco Malfoy has a cousin. Possible and plausible, however, are two different things.

How do I know Hermione doesn't have a sister? Well, over seven books, Hermione was bound to talk about her at some point.

And what about Harry Potter's twin/older sister/cousin? Because she would have been mentioned. Unless you have an absolutely brilliant way to incorporate this relationship into the story without it being destructive or impossible, you're going to start treading in Mary Sue waters.

If you want to give your OC familial relation with a canon character, use a minor canon character that does not have an established type of family. For example, there is not an eighth Weasley sibling. This is canon. It is heavily implied that Cedric Diggory doesn't have a sister (we would have at least seen her at some point) however, you might be able to get away with writing a story with Cedric's younger sister as the main character.

What could be even easier and more believable, though, is writing about Oliver Wood's little sister. We know there's not another Weasley sibling, so your OC should not be inserted in that family, and you can play with the idea of Cedric's sibling with some dispute, but giving a character like Oliver Wood a sister can work—there's no implication that he's an only child.

Example:

My name is Rhiannon Draké Armani Homopho'bia Alanis Fall Out Boy Black Potter. But you can call me Mary Sue for short. As I walked through the halls of Hogwarts, I noticed everyone looking at me. It could have been because of my long, black hair (kind of like Harry's) with red tips that swayed behind me, or my gorgeous green eyes (like Harry's) that turn purple when I'm sad, or the small white scar under my chin that I got in the car crash that killed my mom, who is Sirius Black's sister who had a kid with James Potter yet somehow I also share traits with Lily Evans, but you can't see unless I point it out, or the bruises on my arms from my abusive stepfather that I had not seen since August, or maybe because I was wearing size 2 tight ripped jeans while they were in their uniforms. Yeah, I'm a rebel, but I'm also really smart and funny and cool. I sat in the Great Hall surrounded by my friends, Harry (we're half-siblings but he doesn't know it yet and there's no reason I should know it), Ron, Hermione, the Weasley twins, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Oliver, and Cedric. I glared across the hall at Draco Malfoy and his friends. I always hated them. Except, when he looked at me, I could see that Draco's eyes softened as if he loved me.

In this example, we see A. the ridiculous, exotic, musical, long name with an inexplicable nickname. B. An over focus on description, and that description is about how perfect and unusually beautiful Mary Sue is. C. A strange, tragic family history in which someone is dead, someone is abusive, and everyone's related. D. The perfect qualities of Mary Sue. E. Mary Sue is friends with everyone, and hates the right people. F. Yet somehow, Draco can't help but love her. G. Little to no plot or action.


	3. School, Friends, and Hobbies

**SCHOOL, FRIENDS, AND HOBBIES**

1\. The Transfer Student

If I could get rid of anything in all of fanfiction, it would be the American transfer student. Nothing makes me angrier than reading about the American transfer student that came from Merlin knows where, USA, and knows more, if not everything, about magic than everyone. Listen—muggle British academia and muggle American academia are incredibly different! There would most likely be a huge different between a Hogwarts education, and a whatever school of Salem education. If Mary Sue's parents had to move to England for a job while she was in the middle of her education, guess what! THEY'RE WIZARDS. THERE'S LOADS OF MAGICAL TRANSPORTATION FOR MARY SUE TO TAKE TO GET TO CLASS IN THE UNITED STATES ON TIME. This goes for other countries, as well, but Mary Sue is too often from America.

Let's talk about Beauxbatons and Durmstrang. These are wizarding schools we know exist, and it's also very unlikely for a student from one of these schools to transfer to Hogwarts. HOWEVER, there is a place and time to have fun with this: The Triwizard Tournament. No, the wonder magic school of Texas is not going to compete in the tournament. Sorry. BUT Durmstrang and Beauxbatons do, which means we can take a character from that school and write about them in Hogwarts for a year.

2\. The Slytherin/Gryffindor Princess

There's nothing wrong with your OC being a Gryffindor. I find that I have more Gryffindor tendencies in real life, so I like to write my characters in Gryffindor because I like to rep my house. However, this doesn't mean I don't value the other houses. It also means that, in order to create a good OC, I have to understand that Gryffindors are not perfect. Hermione is brilliant, but a bit of a know-it-all. Harry is loyal, but it becomes a detriment. Ron is quick to make judgments, but they're not always right or to his advantage. They could have been in any of the houses, but they're in Gryffindor. Sure, purity of heart is a factor, but there's a haughtiness that comes with it. Hufflepuffs don't have to be meek Herbology geniuses. Ravenclaws don't have to be constantly studying. Slytherins—well, I'll get to that.

In some ways, it's easy to write a Gryffindor or Slytherin OC because we know what their common rooms look like, and the characters we know the most about are from those houses. However, this can lead to generalization of traits. Mary Sue is always brave and right because she's in Gryffindor. Mary Sue does not have to be a Death Eater because she's in Slytherin. Because we know the most about these houses, we know people from those houses are complex. It might in fact be easier to work with a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw because we don't know a lot about those houses, which means a writer can take liberty with his or her OC's traits. Just keep in mind that a Ravenclaw Mary Sue is only smart, and a Hufflepuff Mary Sue is only loyal.

Slytherin is where things get a little weird. There's a house dynamic there in which a character's status in the house relies on blood status and who the character's family is. Slytherin Mary Sue is a muggle-born, but all the Slytherins like her, and later finds out she's actually from the richest pureblood family.

She can also be a pureblood who disagrees with her family and rebels. You know who did that? Sirius Black, and he was a Gyrffindor. I implore every writer who wants to write a Slytherin OC to really examine the house and what it means to be a Slytherin.

3\. Why Can't We Be Friends?

Mary Sue is friends with Harry, Ron, and Hermione. She really makes the Golden Trio a Golden Square. She's also friends with every other student at Hogwarts, even Draco Malfoy, even though they pretend to hate each other. Mary Sue gossips with the Patil sisters and relays that information to Pansy Parkinson. Mary Sue is friends with Fred and George Weasley, yet knows everything the Golden Trio is up to. A good OC can be friends with Harry, Ron, and Hermione, but she understands that she is not a part of the trio. She is not there to save the stone, or defeat the basilisk. A good OC who is friends with the Weasley twins probably isn't really invested in Harry Potter's life.

It takes time and trust to build friendships. An OC isn't going to drop into Harry's life and immediately be his best friend over Ron and Hermione. She isn't going to be in on every secret.

4\. My American Cousin

Now, I'm going to talk about OCs that the writer creates to build life around their main character.

I think this is 100% great. This means a writer recognizes that their OC isn't immediately best friends with Hermione. Instead of forcing their OC to be friends with major canon characters, he or she invents another character to be friends with the OC. This makes writing more difficult because now there is more than one character that needs to be defined, but if done correctly, can be great! This proves that a writers OCs can be well-rounded and interesting people.

What is not ok, however, is when the writer creates ten OCs to surround their main OC with, and they're all foreign or exactly the same as the main OC. These are worse than Mary Sues. These become characters whose sole purpose is to talk about Mary Sue, and how perfect she is and how meant to be she and Draco are even though they all hate him.

This is very often used as, "Hi, I'm Mary Sue, and this is my American cousin who just transferred here." It's totally ok to create a family or a friend or two for the main OC, however, it gets annoying when the introduction of 100 new characters takes more time than story, especially when they're all from other countries and have families of their own the writer feels compelled to explain.

5\. Quidditch Star

Mary Sue is good enough to be a professional Quidditch player by her second year, but she expresses no interest in being a professional Quidditch player. A good OC likes Quidditch—perhaps is even obsessed with a particular team that isn't the Chudley Cannons—and will work hard to be good at Quidditch. Sure, Oliver Wood had tough practices, but a good OC appreciates them (although might complain about their length and frequency) because he or she knows it's a good thing. A good writer will pay attention to who is on the Quidditch team in canon and which position they play. It's smart to avoid putting an OC on the Quidditch team unless there is room, they have ambition for it, and a well-written Quidditch scene does something for the plot. Note: there is no mention ever of having secondaries on the team.

6\. Hitting the Books

Mary Sue loves to read muggle books. Her favorite authors are Shakespeare and Jane Austin, and she's obsessed with Disney-fied fairy tales. Because of this, she is perceived as smart. I will tell you something about real life right now: just because you've read _Romeo and Juliet_ does not make you a genius. Sorry.

A good OC likes to read a variety of books, and relies on her writer to come up with clever wizarding novels, or research existing ones. A good OC may not be smart but likes to read, and if she is smart, she understands more about what she's reading than just the story on the surface.

7\. Super-Genius

Hermione Granger is commonly referred to as the brightest witch of her age. Mary Sue, somehow, is even smarter than her. A good OC might be naturally smart, but isn't a hard-worker and her grades show it. A good OC might get extraordinary grades, but she works around the clock to earn them. Perhaps she would even envy Hermione for her giftedness.

Hint: No one is smarter than Hermione.

Example:

My name is Rhiannon Draké Armani Homopho'bia Alanis Fall Out Boy Black Potter. But you can call me Mary Sue for short. As I walked through the halls of Hogwarts for the first time, I noticed everyone looking at me. It could have been because I am a transfer student from Beauxbatons but I have an American accent, or my long, black hair (kind of like Harry's) with red tips that swayed behind me, or my gorgeous green eyes (like Harry's) that turn purple when I'm sad, or the small white scar under my chin that I got in the car crash that killed my mom, who is Sirius Black's sister who had a kid with James Potter yet somehow I also share traits with Lily Evans, but you can't see unless I point it out, or the bruises on my arms from my abusive stepfather that I had not seen since August, or maybe because I was wearing size 2 tight ripped jeans while they were in their uniforms. Yeah, I'm a rebel, but I'm also really smart (everyone says I'm smarter than Hermione) and funny and cool. I sat in the Great Hall surrounded by my friends, Harry (we're half-siblings but he doesn't know it yet and there's no reason I should know it), Ron, Hermione, the Weasley twins, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Oliver, and Cedric, and my friends from America: Demeter Artencia Ballyhoo Jane Holmes, Artemis Calliope Betelgeuse Katherine Prince, and Damian Prentice Albus Fireball Smith. We all talked about how I should replace Harry on the Gryffindor team because I'm an even better Seeker, and I mention that I read _Pride and Prejudice_ even though I'm pureblood. I glared across the hall at Draco Malfoy and his friends. I always hated them. Except, when he looked at me, I could see that Draco's eyes softened as if he loved me.

In this expanded example, we see: A. Mary Sue is transfer student with an accent that doesn't match up with the last place she was, B. Mary Sue is smarter than Hermione, C. Mary Sue also has a lot of friends who do not exist in canon who are also transfer students with impossible names, D. Mary Sue is so good at Quidditch it's unbelievable, E. Mary Sue has read one muggle book despite claims of being pureblood.


	4. Deja Vu

**DÉJÀ VU**

1\. Events

Mary Sue goes to Diagon Alley for the first time with Hagrid, who showed up at her house to tell her she's a witch. McGonagall sees Mary Sue fly as a first year and immediately puts her on the Quidditch team. Dumbledore wants Mary Sue to take Occlumency lessons because Voldemort wants a peak in her mind, too. For some reason, she's in the Astronomy tower when Dumbledore is killed.

Don't put your character through the events we've already seen. Mary Sue will do everything Harry/Hermione/whoever did. A good OC will have a unique experience.

2\. Events pt. 2

Mary Sue is so good in Dumbledore's Army, she should teach it. She was there at the Department of Mysteries when Harry thought Sirius was captured. Mary Sue was at the Quidditch World Cup when the Death Eaters attack. Mary Sue is an important leader in the Order of the Phoenix.

A good OC doesn't have to be in the D.A. She can be—but she's not going to get a Patronous on the first time. She doesn't have to be in the Order. I actually recently read a Sirius/OC fanfic (it was all right, not great) and what I liked about it was Sirius was really into the Order of the Phoenix and convinced the OC to join, but she wasn't as passionate about it. She was actually afraid. A good writer will realize his or her OC does not have to be there for every major event.

3\. Events pt. 3

I have seen a lot of writers literally copying a scene exactly from the books and inserting their character in it. WE HAVE READ THIS SCENE. WE DO NOT NEED TO READ IT AGAIN.

Example:

My name is Rhiannon Draké Armani Homopho'bia Alanis Fall Out Boy Black Potter. But you can call me Mary Sue for short. As I walked through the halls of Hogwarts, I noticed everyone looking at me. It could have been because of my long, black hair (kind of like Harry's) with red tips that swayed behind me, or my gorgeous green eyes (like Harry's) that turn purple when I'm sad, or the small white scar under my chin that I got in the car crash that killed my mom, who is Sirius Black's sister who had a kid with James Potter yet somehow I also share traits with Lily Evans, but you can't see unless I point it out, or the bruises on my arms from my abusive stepfather that I had not seen since August, or maybe because I was wearing size 2 tight ripped jeans while they were in their uniforms. Yeah, I'm a rebel, but I'm also really smart and funny and cool. I sat in the Great Hall surrounded by my friends, Harry (we're half-siblings but he doesn't know it yet and there's no reason I should know it), Ron, Hermione, the Weasley twins, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Oliver, and Cedric. I glared across the hall at Draco Malfoy and his friends. I always hated them. Except, when he looked at me, I could see that Draco's eyes softened as if he loved me. I first met Draco at the sorting ceremony first year. He introduced himself and shook my hand and wanted to be my friend but I said no because I heard him be rude to Harry and Ron. When I said no, he told me, "My father will hear about this."

In this example, we see it end with an event that had already happened to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, and even though we've seen it before with canon characters, it must be reiterated because Mary Sue is special and deserves to have it happen to her. Also, she doesn't know how to exist in an original storyline without being exactly what the book/movie was.


	5. The UK and Elsewhere, and Artifacts, etc

Hey, everyone. There's been a great response to this so far! Do keep in mind that this will be going further, however, I will appreciate your suggestions in the comments or in a private message. I combined two topics here (and I should have done the last one here, too) because they're pretty short.

Thanks! -alienoctopus

 **THE UK AND ELSEWHERE**

1\. Language of Characters

Mary Sue is from Canada, yet she already has an English accent and speaks in American slang. Her speech patterns and slang is so radical, everyone else uses it, too. If you're going to do an OC from another place, you must understand that they will have different slang or accents than canon characters. Ginny is never going to say, "OH MY GOD TOTALLY," and a good OC won't use unnecessary vocabulary that no teenager would use nor will she use slang from a place she is not from.

2\. Language of the Writer

Mary Sue is from London, yet she has a very American way of speaking.

This is where things get really difficult. I'm from the Midwestern United States, and it's clear that I would have different ways of saying things than someone from, say, Scotland. That's ok and understood. However, it's not ok if I am writing characters from the UK and we share the same slang, as it's not really possible.

 **ARTIFACTS, PROPHECIES, POWERS AND ABILITIES**

1\. Artifacts

Artifacts include trinkets, jewelry, weapons, and the like. Mary Sue keeps a knife on her, and has a golden heart locket that may or may not give her extra power. A good OC knows it's silly to bring a knife to a wand fight, and if she has a special piece of jewelry, then she has a damn good reason to have it.

2\. Prophecies

Mary Sue is prophesized to defeat Voldemort at Harry's side. A good OC probably doesn't have a prophecy about her, especially not one involving Voldemort. A good writer knows that a character doesn't need a prophecy to do something.

Tread carefully if you're writing a prophecy story, because unless you're really that good of a writer, as soon as the prophecy is revealed, your readers know what's going to happen.

3\. Powers and Abilities (including half-breeds)

Mary Sue is telepathic and can see into the future, and it's because she's a half-veela even though those aren't powers indicative of veela. She's also a vampire, except that makes her more attractive despite it being canon in the Harry Potter universe that vampires actually come off as, in a word, sickly.

A good OC might be able to see into the future, but she works really, really, really hard at Divination to do it, and she knows the things she sees might not even be set in stone. (Do note that Professor Trelawney cannot produce a prophecy at will, and she is a proven Seer).

A good OC might be a half-breed, but she will have traits of both breeds whether they're good or bad. She might be half-veela and be attractive, but she also might sprout feathers when she's angry.

Example:

My name is Rhiannon Draké Armani Homopho'bia Alanis Fall Out Boy Black Potter. But you can call me Mary Sue for short. As I walked through the halls of Hogwarts, I noticed everyone looking at me. It could have been because of my long, black hair (kind of like Harry's) with red tips that swayed behind me, or my gorgeous green eyes (like Harry's) that turn purple when I'm sad, or the small white scar under my chin that I got in the car crash that killed my mom, who is Sirius Black's sister who had a kid with James Potter yet somehow I also share traits with Lily Evans, but you can't see unless I point it out, or the bruises on my arms from my abusive stepfather that I had not seen since August, or maybe because I was wearing size 2 tight ripped jeans while they were in their uniforms. I'm also incredibly beautiful because I'm part veela, but that's all I get from being a half-breed. Yeah, I'm a rebel because I carry around a pocket knife on me at all times in case things get hairy, and I wear a beautiful diamond and emerald bracelet that allows me to transform into a tiger whenever I want. I sat in the Great Hall surrounded by my friends, Harry (we're like, totally half-siblings and that's like, super great and I'll tell him next time we hang out), Ron, Hermione, the Weasley twins, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Oliver, and Cedric. I glared across the hall at Draco Malfoy and his friends. I always hated them. Except, when he looked at me, I could see that Draco's eyes softened as if he loved me. I first met Draco at the sorting ceremony first year. He introduced himself and shook my hand and wanted to be my friend but I said no because I heard him be rude to Harry and Ron. When I said no, he told me, "My father will hear about this." I know Draco never ended up telling his dad about our first meeting because I saw into the future and knew he didn't do it.

In this example, we see A. Mary Sue has veela blood, but only shows the good things about being a veela, B. She has a weapon for no real reason, C. She has a ridiculous bracelet that gives her a special power, D. She uses really American language, and E. She can see into the future!


	6. Canon Mary Sues, Time, Universe, Tech

**CANON MARY SUES, TIME, AND UNIVERSE**

1\. Canon Mary Sues

Mary Sue Hermione really digs Draco Malfoy, and when he's around, she turns into his sex kitten. Mary Sue Ginny loves makeovers and gossip. Canon Hermione does not like Draco at any point—she doesn't respect him—and she's not the most flirtatious person in the world. Though we don't get a whole lot of canon Ginny, it can be safely assumed that she's a total tomboy because she grew up with only brothers. When you're writing using canon characters rather than creating your own—a noble quest, do not misunderstand—you have to know that character. You HAVE to, you absolutely have to, understand how that character works, how they act and react, otherwise you might as well have created an original character. If you are going to write a character doing, saying, thinking something that seems out of character (OOC), find something to justify it.

What is different between OOC characters and Mary Sue versions of canon characters? OOC characters are just that, out of character. It might be out of character for, say, Hermione to flirt with, say, Harry. A Mary Sue Hermione would become into the perfect woman for Harry as opposed to the rounded character she is.

I will discuss Alternate Universes and what that does to canon characters in a later installment.

2\. Time Travel

Mary Sue was sent back in time to save Dumbledore/Sirius/Fred/Hedwig. A good OC shouldn't really play with time. Time travel is a strange thing to do in the Harry Potter universe. Yes, it is canon. However, you must understand how time travel works to effectively pull this off. Think of Prisoner of Azkaban: Harry already saw himself cast the patronus, so he knew he could do it. It had already happened, even though Harry had yet to experience it.

I don't want to dismiss all time travel fanfics. I do believe that it's possible with a clever writer to write a good one. However, time travel complicates things. It creates a Mary Sue that _knows_ what's going to happen already. There needs to be solid conceits in this kind of story that prevents the travelling character from revealing, preventing, or making things happen.

3\. Time Period

Mary Sue attends Hogwarts at the same time as Harry Potter, yet she owns an iPod and references things that didn't happen for a good fifteen years. Her mother, also name Mary Sue, attended Hogwarts with the Maraurders (oh, yes, I will be addressing Mary Sues in the Marauder era) yet she knows about things that haven't happened for a good thirty-five years.

A good writer will cater to the time period the fanfiction is in. If you find yourself confused or unsure, research it. Trust me, it doesn't take a lot of time. Read other fanfictions, do a quick Google search—anything that will prevent terrible breaks in time because that ruins the experience for the reader.

3\. Universe

Instead of an example, here's a tip: Decide which universe your Harry Potter fanfiction is in. Are you tapping into your working knowledge of the books, or the movies? It would be a good idea to know how to differentiate between the two. Which era are you writing in? Marauders, Next Gen? Make a list of the big events that happen in that universe and be sure to comply with them. This will allow you to stick with a coherent timeline and know exactly where your character will be. (See: Technology and Media, The Marauders, Next Generation)

 **TECHNOLOGY AND MEDIA**

1\. Modern Technology

Mary Sue owns an iPod and listens to Panic! At The Disco and loves to write on her laptop. She likes to message her friends back home. A good OC would know technology couldn't work at Hogwarts because the magic interferes. A good writer knows that these things are not accessible to his or her OC because she's writing in a different time period (Next Generation fanfics get a little different, more on this later). Using references and devices that do not fit with the era is distracting to your reader, and heavily hints at a self-insert (classic) Mary Sue, which I will examine later.

2\. Media

When I talk about media, I am referring to books, movies, television, and music. Mary Sue loves Taylor Swift, despite the fact that Taylor Swift doesn't exist yet, and she's a pureblood and shouldn't even know who Taylor Swift is. Sirius Black's favorite band is not My Chemical Romance because THEY DON'T EXIST YET. (See: Self-Insert). Mary Sue loves the Avengers movie, despite it not being made yet. Muggleborn students MIGHT get together and talk about muggle things, that's completely possible, but please **please** **_please_** make sure those things fit with the time period of the fanfiction.

Example:

My name is Rhiannon Draké Armani Homopho'bia Alanis Fall Out Boy Black Potter. But you can call me Mary Sue for short. I am from the future, and came back to save Dumbledore from Snape despite the fact that this will prevent Harry from defeating Voldemort because of wand lore, but it doesn't matter because I'm special. As I walked through the halls of Hogwarts, I noticed everyone looking at me. It could have been because of my long, black hair (kind of like Harry's) with red tips that swayed behind me, or my gorgeous green eyes (like Harry's) that turn purple when I'm sad, or the small white scar under my chin that I got in the car crash that killed my mom, who is Sirius Black's sister who had a kid with James Potter yet somehow I also share traits with Lily Evans, but you can't see unless I point it out, or the bruises on my arms from my abusive stepfather that I had not seen since August, or maybe because I was wearing size 2 tight ripped jeans while they were in their uniforms. I'm also incredibly beautiful because I'm part veela, but that's all I get from being a half-breed. Yeah, I'm a rebel because I carry around a pocket knife on me at all times in case things get hairy, and I wear a beautiful diamond and emerald bracelet that allows me to transform into a tiger whenever I want. I sat in the Great Hall surrounded by my friends, Harry (we're half-siblings but he doesn't know it yet and there's no reason I should know it), Ron, Hermione, the Weasley twins, Neville, Luna, Ginny, Oliver, and Cedric. I glared across the hall at Draco Malfoy and his friends. I always hated them. Except, when he looked at me, I could see that Draco's eyes softened as if he loved me. I first met Draco at the sorting ceremony first year. He introduced himself and shook my hand and wanted to be my friend but I said no because I heard him be rude to Harry and Ron. When I said no, he told me, "My father will hear about this." I know Draco never ended up telling his dad about our first meeting because I saw into the future and knew he didn't do it. Later on, I went to my bedroom and started IMing Draco, who sent me a Green Day music video. I told him it was cool and that I won't tell anyone I messaged him.

In this example, we see A. Mary Sue travelled back in time to prevent something that needs to happen for the story of Harry Potter to pan out. B. Mary Sue can send instant messages in Hogwarts. C. So can Draco Malfoy, who wouldn't know what a computer is and should not know what Green Day is.


End file.
